It’s not uncommon to experience boredom, restlessness & resistance in feminine practice. As much as it is glamourised as “orgasmic”, “ecstatic” etc, a lot of it can feel mundane. If this is your experience, know you are not doing it wrong.
We can be addicted to the rush of big energetic experiences, and even seek them out in our practice.
But the true gift lies in staying with whatever is arising, especially in staying the course with these seemingly “lacklustre” or sometimes downright challenging sensations that arise.
This can support to liberate that energy into expansion. Often these are the times that our practice really matters! It also fine-tunes our senses to be able to experience the subtle.
This can take time if our nervous system has come to rely on heightened experiences to feel something. The most nuanced sensations to me can be utterly sublime. But I’m sure that years ago they would’ve gone completely under my radar.
This is the gift of cultivating awareness of the felt sense, which also translates into situations where our body wisdom is guiding & informing us, sometimes in super subtle ways. Also – it takes much less to feel really good – pleasure becomes much more readily available from within.
In the meantime…
Allowing ourselves to feel can be overwhelming if we have a big backlog of emotions that we haven’t expressed or acknowledged yet. The invitation to slow down can be very confronting to the part of us that is habituated to being on the go, that is accustomed to running on adrenaline, or if trauma has been experienced & unresolved. It can feel like a big gaping void that calls for a lot of courage to surrender into. It can come with a fear of what might reveal itself.
So… we take it slow, and welcome it all with big compassion.
We return to our practice regularly. Without expectations, with curiosity & sincerity. We seek support, if we need it. And we cherish the tastes of her nectar when they come, with gratitude, and without grasping!