I made a big decision this week to let go of my beloved sunrise yoga classes I’ve been teaching here twice a week for more than 4 years.
This decision was hard because I LOVE these humans SO much…these humans who have been practising with me with such loyalty, such gorgeous presence and a deep trust in me as their teacher.
I consider these folk (and a few not in the picture) my yoga family… oh and that’s not my baby by the way – but she was in her mama’s womb as she practiced yoga here right to the end of her pregnancy (and I finally got to meet her earthside! )
And yet – the nudges kept coming, and coming, and I tried to push them away, and then they came back harder…
The conflict was driving me crazy, my indecision making me emotional – you know – all the ways we resist what our inner knowing is telling us, and then we suffer for it.
Intuition doesn’t always make sense to the mind. It conflicts what we think we “should” do.
On Tuesday morning after class I felt tears coming up. I felt my heart breaking open.💔
For a few moments, I tried to keep it in. Then I realised how unnecessary that was and that what I stand for is keeping it real and letting emotions flow when they arise.
So I cried.. I sobbed as I heated up the chai – a ritual I had done countless times in the afterglow of our yoga session as the sun rises over the hill
Letting go is akin to death and is the part of life so many of us want to avoid. In this moment I couldn’t quite come to grips with letting go of something I love SO dearly!
When things feel good it doesn’t make sense to let them go, right?!
In perfect timing, one of the women in my six-month Shakti Circle shared these words from one of her teachers in our private group:
“…you will be pulled in every which direction when it comes to grief in the heart. You probably only feel like you’ve made the wrong decision because you are feeling sad and that’s often why people rewrite a story a thousand times even though they know nothing might change. Give it some time, let the tears flow and honour what brought you to the decision…”
It is so important that we let ourselves grieve when something comes to and end – whether we have chosen it consciously or not.
It is just as important to stay in contact with the truth. To trust in the bigger picture.
The eagle reminded me of this as I opened my eyes at the end of a ceremonial circle last Saturday, and I saw him flying overhead.
🦅
For me, the truth that brought me to this decision is about spreading my wings. I’ve known this for some time. To me it is scary because it means it is time to commit to some projects I know I need to birth now – they need my all.
There is a deep inner knowing, urging me that now is the time to share beyond the comfort of my home Shala. .
I want to break the myth about new doors flying open and be honest and say that sometimes there is a void.. A big gaping hole, and uncomfortable space. And this space is rich and it is important not to bypass it.
And then of course, from this fertile space the new can be birthed.
And it is true that a whole lot of energy from my indecision feels freed up now… especially since I let myself cry those tears (and the many that led up to that moment!(
WHAT’S NEXT??
In a month from today I’m heading off to the US of A to participate in a 2-week immersion for my apprenticeship with the Wise Womb Medicine Path – when I return I’ll be needing to see 10 clients as a part of my studies (mentioning this now in case you might like to work with me 1:1 – it will be free of charge!)
I’ve just had a venue confirmed my to run my first Shakti Yoga Course in June
We are planning another ecstatic chants of Shakti and the itinerary for my Yogini Pilgrimage to Nepal is now final!
If you want to know more about any of these juicy, rich and aligned offerings – say so!
Bowing to the Mystery of it all, from here on.
♥️ Jasmine Rose
