Divine Feminine awakening, Musings

The shadow side of devotion

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A devotionally inclined woman naturally gives of herself, especially when she’s “ in love”… which is why she can also lose herself easily;
To be so adoring of the other that she neglects herself of that very love.
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Is this true generosity, or is it a distorted expression she learnt to receive validation, security, attention?
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Devotion is a beautiful trait, but without a backbone it is a dangerous ground for co-dependence
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This is common not only in intimate relationships but also in spiritual communities - where she might over-give in service to a spiritual teacher or guru, putting aside her own needs and desires (I’ve been there!).
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For the open-hearted ones who love naturally, there can be a tendency to love without boundaries.
⚔️
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To give and be so immersed in the other that we lose awareness of ourself and override our needs and boundaries, not to mention - what we actually desire for ourselves!
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It is a practice to pause the outpouring - which can have us locate the source of love outside of ourselves - and to lean back into ourselves.
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What if instead we become the object of our own affections?
To turn that energy of devotion back unto ourselves - to the indwelling beloved?
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To love with such fervour the part of ourself that is indeed yearning to be received?
👐🏼
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The grief that comes when a woman realises this is a turning point the inspires her to love herself. ♥️
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And to fully feel this grief (and sometimes anger) is essential and a powerful catalyst
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This is often a painful initiation, but a life-changing one
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I know, because I’ve been through it, AND emerged out the other side.
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It doesn’t happen overnight. Un-learning these habits takes work, as does anchoring new ways of loving.
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Cultivating discernment, inner intimacy, self-enquiry, radical self-compassion are all super helpful.
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I work a lot with embodiment practice and womb-centered practice because I've noticed that rooting in our depths and power can become an anchor; a visceral way to stay connected and in touch with our center.
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From this place, to see, acknowledge and love these distorted expressions of devotion and whatever is underneath them allows us to express it in an empowered and untainted way.
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Bringing forth pure devotion from this integrated inner space is exquisitely beautiful.
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But contacting our power as devotional women is what is really key.
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I’ve heard from so many sisters navigating this journey recently which prompted me to share this, and I’d love to hear what this stirs in you ♥️
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Art: Mary Magdalene by Jonathan Weber

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